In the recent past, when we were being besieged daily by a barrage of media attention concerning the upcoming 2017 US general elections, both leading presidential candidates were placed under constant scrutiny with levels of mudslinging that caused many amongst even the most seasoned of people to recoil in shock. I mention this, not to meander within the realm of analysis, speculation or finger-pointing, but only to consider something of importance: being a good role model. One famous rabbi wrote:
“My father taught me in a thousand ways. I remember sitting on my father’s knee as he taught me ‘Aleph-Beth.’ I remember him holding my hand as we walked through our house on Shabbat singing ‘Shalom Aleichem.’ I remember running behind him
going to shul (synagogue). I remember him standing before hundreds of people, speaking to them, opening their hearts. Whenever my father spoke, something magic happened in the room. I remember him walking in the street greeting people
with so much love that he changed sourness to smiles. I remember my father learning every moment of his life. I never saw him without a Sefer (Bible). I remember his joy when things went well and I remember him hoping, with great trust in HaShem, when things were bad. Yet, most of all I remember that my father planted deeply in my heart through his example, the true meaning of being a Jew.”
In stark contrast to this testimony is the following story:
“I was strolling in the gardens of an insane asylum when I met a young man who was reading a philosophy book. His behaviour and his evident good health made him stand out from the other inmates. I sat down beside him and asked:
‘What are you doing here?’
He looked at me, surprised. However, since I was not one of the doctors, he replied:
‘It’s very simple. My father, a brilliant lawyer, wanted me to be like him. My uncle, who owns a large emporium, hoped I would follow his example. My mother wanted me to be the image of her beloved father. My sister always set her husband before me as an example of the successful man. My brother tried to train me up to be a fine athlete like himself. The same thing happened at school, with the piano teacher and the English teacher—they were all convinced and determined that they were the best possible example to follow. None of them looked at me as one should look at a man, but as if they were looking in a mirror. So I decided to enter this asylum. At least here I can be myself.’”
The Bible warns us that ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’ (I Cor. 15:33) In other words, the type of people we surround our lives with will inevitably affect us for better or for worse. Being successful has little to do with status, accomplishments, fame or fortune but is far more about character.
Within a lifetime, there are usually one or two special people we cherish who have impacted our lives for good and provide an example worthy of emulating; without them would leave us with a large deficit. Most times they are unaware of the
influence they have, such as with one incident I recall from a story attributed to Rabbi Yisrael of Rizhin (1797-1851) grandson of the Maggid of Mezritch:
“Once there were two friends whose souls were intertwined with a great love as could be compared to David and Jonathan. Even though they lived far apart from one another, the love between them never waned. In those days, one of them was
falsely accused of a crime, convicted and sentenced to death. The king issued a proclamation that everyone in the land must attend this criminal’s execution.
When his friend came to the execution, he recognised him and immediately cried out in anguish,
‘Leave that man alone! I was the person who committed the crime.’
The result was mayhem. The execution was stopped and the matter was brought before the king who summoned both men and asked them the truth of the matter. Only one of them could have committed the crime, so why was the other one willing to die in vain? The friend of the condemned man answered the king:
‘I know that my friend did not commit any crime. I know his character. He could not possibly have done it. Thus, I must conclude that this is nothing but a miscarriage of justice. My life depends on my friend’s life. It is better that I die and not see his death. In fact, if I have received such a punishment as having to see my friend’s death, I must myself be deserving of death.’
The other man replied in a similar fashion.
When the king saw the great love between these two men, he let them both free and requested of them,
‘You are such great friends I would like you to take me into your circle of friendship, with that amount of love. I also wish to become that kind of friend to you.’”
