MY SICKNESS by Raphael ben Levi
“As the Nazi camp commander led the orthodox Jews to death one of them asked for permission to say a few words of farewell to his friends. I stood opposite them and heard every word. He did not say much….He got hold of the hands of another young man and started singing. They were calling to each other: “Kiddush Hashem, the most important thing, let us rejoice!” They all began to sing and dance as if a fire had been lit within them. Their sidelocks, which were then hidden under their hats were now pulled out and hung over their faces. They paid no attention to the things around them. They were dancing and singing. And I thought I would lose my senses; that young people should go to their death as one goes to a dance! Thus dancing, they jumped into the pit as a rain of bullets was pouring down on them.” (Eliezer Berkovits, as told by a Kapo in the Plaszow concentration camp)
When God ignites a godly passion within us, it’s contagious, described by the Baal Shem Tov as “My sickness” – for those who give Him permission to transform us into His likeness, a vessel unique and beautiful changed from glory to glory: “One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek…to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord.” (Ps.27:4)
This was King David’s “sickness” and countless others throughout the ages. It can be yours too.
It is a dangerous thing to look into the eyes of the Lord even when we wear ‘sunglasses.’ His gaze will pierce the depths of our soul. Yet, when we love someone so much how can we do less, it’s our ‘sickness’. At that moment we begin to dance and sing in spontaneous applause at the wonder of His love that not even death can quench…
